Danielle Paschka

It’s no secret that the last 6 years I have shared about my weight loss journey. The good, the bad & the ugly. I successfully lost 60 lbs on my own, fell in love with working out & started a whole new healthy lifestyle— one that I have never done in my life.

Something that has been weighing on me is the amount of things on social media I’ve seen about losing weight. It’s been everywhere and as someone who has always been the bigger one in the friend group.. it’s been so triggering. I’ve definitely gained some of the lbs back & honestly don’t know what I’m doing wrong but the last 6 months has been really hard mentally.. I feel like my flabby stomach & skin is never leaving me, I eat good, get a lot of protein in, drink water, walk 10k+ steps a day, work out 5 days a week at the gym, what gives?! Honestly don’t know but I’m going to keep on keeping on in hopes that it all clicks & I see results.

I heard this sound on IG about being the fat friend in the group, being the biggest girl in the gym, & I have never felt so seen. Growing up that was always me & still is. I feel so much of this ALWAYS even if I’ve come so far in my journey. Should I be thinking this way? No but I do & it can never be stopped to be honest. You’re probably thinking.. stop feeling sorry for yourself— do the work, see the results.

The thing is that I do, do the work. I wish it happened magically for me but it doesn’t & I don’t know if its my body type, if something is wrong with me or what but its just always there lingering in my head.. “You need to be thinner” “You look overweight” “Why is nothing working”.

Everything I see these days on social media is GLP medication & that would solve it all. Figuring out your hormones & that would solve it all. Buy this supplement or greens or this & it will solve it all. Literally every time I open a social media app I see these things & think do I need to do be doing that? Do I need those things to get where I want to be in my body? Everything is so accessible that I don’t even know by looking at the ad if it’s safe or not safe. But do you see how triggering it can be seeing these things non-stop for someone who has struggled with her weight her entire life?! I get these companies or people are trying to make money or share what they truly believe is right but goodness it can’t be so triggering & overwhelming.

I then think sometimes well you’ve been trying for so long & nothing is working that to accept that this is your body which then spirals into you can’t eat anything bad or you will balloon up again, & then that spirals into don’t say anything negative out loud because you don’t want your daughters to hear it & then have the same body image issues you have.. its a constant mindf**ck circle & it’s so hard.

I want to be comfy in my own skin, I want to wear things that I want to wear without cringing at my stomach, I want to have my BMI at a healthier level, just all the things.

So the reason I’m saying all this.. I just want people to know you aren’t alone, the thoughts you have are valid, & everything in between. With all that being said.. I’m going to keep working at it, tweak a couple things & hope I can get to back to where I want to be. I don’t want to end the year with how I’ve been feeling the past few months so now or never.

Thank you for listening to whats been weighing on my heart.. it’s be a lot in my head and after seeing how many people responded to my story about the reel sound I heard I knew I needed to write down something. As always, I’m always a message away or if anyone has anything they want to comment, share, or advice— I’m all ears!

Xo, Dani